今天一个人在家,正好可以玩唱吧,正唱得尽兴呢,有人敲门,猫眼一看是我妈,开门我妈上来就一句:咋的了?哭这大声……
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小王周末带女友芳芳回家,刚进门,芳芳就皱着眉头说:“太热了,你装空调吧。”小王一听,默默地将纸壳箱子套在身上挨着墙角静静站好。。。
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早上公交站台和一个单身哥们等公交,一个美女在我们不远处摔了跤。我对哥们说“你单身这么多年就是跟其他屌丝丝一样不知道主动把握机会,现在机会来了去吧,比卡丘”朋友在我怂恿下上前问“没事吧?”美女“没事”我朋友回了句“没事走两步……”草,活该单身。
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最近工作量大,经常会肚子饿,又不想吃零食,就经常到工地附近一个水果摊买水果吃,宿舍人多,每次都是买十来斤。 今天下午,又去买了半箱橘子,结账的时候,卖水果的小妹小声对我说:“我有男朋友了.......”
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高中的时候,学校安装了监视器,有学生不高兴,在摄像机上贴了一张林志颖的照片。数日后,校长在学生大会上愤怒地说:“不知是哪位同学,趴在监视器上不下来,都已经好几天了,你不饿吗?”
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下午去建行取钱,旁边一哥们儿取完钱就走,恰好ATM机提示“请取回您的银行卡”,那哥们儿噌的跑回来了,拿到卡之后竟然做了件很奇葩的事,他对着ATM机点头哈腰的说“不好意思,不好意思,谢谢啦啊”,旁边的人直接被憋到内伤……
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今天在超市门口看到一对情侣款款而来。那个女孩子的衣服很别致,lz忍不住多看了几眼,那个女孩子发现有人在看她,有点得意,拉了拉衣服。忽然她发现了什么,对她男朋友大吼,我衣服穿反了你怎么不告诉我啊……告诉我啊……
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